We’ll be live-blogging the whole show – so you can be up to date if you’re in the mood to come on down to The Kazimier any time over the next 33.5 hours!
The cast (strikethroughs indicate bitches that be dead):
The Groom’s side
Burt Dike – Dirt bike racer and groom. Inventor of facepainting.
Jizzie Mandlebrot – Brother of the groom, upcoming hiphop artist.
Margaret McCasa – Mother of the groom. Or.. Aunt… or… something
Mary-May Lewis- Former stripper, and the groom’s best friend.
Big Richard Jackson- Southern Preacher, uncle/cousin to Burt and Jizzie, and board game enthusiast.
Timothy Dreary – Psychotherapist, specialist in CBT and BLT.
Fibonacci Mandlebrot – Bungee enthusiast and amnesiac. The two might be related.
The Bride’s side
Iowna Woolfe – Bride to be.
Ivana Woolfe – The bride’s twin sister.
Virginia Woolfe – Mother of the bride.
Wilf Woolfe – Father of the bride.
Winifred Woolfe – Grandma and detective, with her crime-fighting dog Sunday
Cherry Woolfe – Some kind of relation of the bride, and also a pirate.
Honey Moon – Bridesmaid of the year 2008/2009, but not 2010. Don’t ask what went wrong…
Eveline Carnate – Best friend of Honey Moon, looking for love after three bad marriages. Also a former marine.
Jebediah Stringbean – Owner of the Fools Rush In Hotel
Bobby Davro – No, not *that* Bobby Davro. Head porter of the hotel, and possibly a murderer.
Silky Sheets – Maid, and orphan.
The Pope – The unconventionally-named hotel DJ
Stan Brewer – The wedding planner
Richard Famous – Adventurer and random guy.
Father Hanson – Priest, and WWE enthusiast.
Keith Catcher – Solicitor. Apparently.
Premisciu Premiscuo – Magician. Uh. Yeah.